15 Typical Examples of Narcissist Text Messages & How to Respond

15 Typical Examples of Narcissist Text Messages & How to Respond
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1- Introduction

Gaslighting, attempts to dominate or denigrate others, and manipulative language are some ways that narcissistic behavior appears in text messages. Through their communication style, these people may seek authority, approval, or attention—often at the price of other people's feelings. It's critical to identify these habits and take appropriate action in order to uphold healthy boundaries and safeguard one's wellbeing. Through comprehension of common instances of narcissistic text messages and adeptness in replying, people can handle these exchanges with enhanced self-assurance and assertiveness. Early intervention is essential to stop such behavior before it causes more emotional injury or manipulation.

2- Love Bombing

Narcissists frequently utilize the text messaging technique known as "love bombing" to easily establish an emotional connection with their target and control them. These messages may appear too good to be true, but they are quite kind and flattering. For instance, "I can't stop thinking about you," "You're the most amazing person I've ever met," and "I feel like I've known you my whole life." The manipulative aspect is in instilling a sense of adoration and reliance in the recipient by making them feel special and adored.

It's important to avoid falling for the flattery while replying to a narcissist's love bombing SMS messages. Keep in mind that these are manipulation tactics rather than real attempts. Retain your boundaries and don't lose sight of reality. Be cautious in your response and express your gratitude without being overly eager or dependent on their praise. You may, for instance, express your gratitude for their good remarks without going overboard in return.

When addressing love bombing techniques, it's critical to establish clear boundaries. Don't be afraid to politely state your independence and hold off on being overly attached. Abrupt statements of love or future plans should be avoided as they could be used to manipulate or trick you. Love bombing can be successfully countered without falling into the narcissist's trap if you answer coolly, control your emotions, and remain loyal to who you are.💡

3- Gaslighting

Narcissists employ the manipulation technique known as "gaslighting" to cause their victims to doubt reality or their own sanity. Gaslighting in text messages frequently entails lying, contradicting earlier remarks, or giving the victim the impression that they are being overly sensitive or dramatic. "You're just imagining things," "I never said that," and "You're being irrational" are common words used in gaslighting.

Although it can be difficult to recognize, gaslighting via text messages is important. Keep an eye out for contradictions, abrupt shifts in the narrative's tone, and any attempts to cast doubt on your memories or observations. Don't discount your feelings and follow your instincts. Setting limits, getting help from professionals or reliable friends, and keeping a record of talks is how to respond to gaslighting techniques. You can also refer back to these records for clarification and validation. Remind yourself that it is not your job to disprove the truth to someone who is deliberately misleading you; instead, put your mental health first before attempting to reason with someone who is trying to gaslight you.

4- Blame Shifting

Narcissists frequently employ the strategy of "blame shifting" in order to escape accepting accountability for their deeds. This might appear in text messages in a number of forms, such as placing the responsibility elsewhere or offering justifications for the recipient's actions. Narcissists, for instance, may criticize the recipient by saying things like "You're just too sensitive" or "You always overreact," refusing to take responsibility for their own actions.

These blame-shifting messages can have a substantial negative effect on the recipient's mental health. It may result in confused, guilty, or self-doubting feelings. Constantly being subjected to this deception over time can cause anxiety and sadness by undermining one's sense of reality and self-worth.

When a narcissist uses blame-shifting techniques in text messages, it's critical to uphold your boundaries and feeling of self-worth. Remaining composed and politely bringing up the facts without becoming defensive is one assertive technique to deal with this conduct. You could reply, for example, by saying, "I need you to take responsibility for your actions," or "I feel hurt when you shift blame onto me instead of addressing the issue."

You are defending your mental health and demanding that you be treated with dignity in all relationships when you respond forcefully and establish boundaries in the face of blame-shifting messages from a narcissist.

5- Triangulation

When a narcissist uses a third party to manipulate or affect the dynamic between you and them, it's referred to as "triangulation" in the context of text messaging in interactions with them. This could be accomplished by inciting jealousy, rivalry, or doubt in your mind by bringing up another person's viewpoint or presence.

When a narcissist tries to triangulate you through text messages, it's important to set firm limits and resist the urge to play along. One tactic is to deal with the current problem head-on without becoming distracted by the other party that was brought up. Avoid making comparisons or competing with others because this will only let the narcissist manipulate you.

You are safeguarding your mental health and refusing to be a pawn in the narcissist's manipulation strategies by establishing firm boundaries and resisting the need to give in to attempts at triangulation. Keep in mind that successful relationships do not include ongoing rivalry or comparisons with others; instead, follow your gut and put your own mental well-being ahead of participating in these unhealthy behaviors.🔖

6-No Contact Manipulation

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Not in Contact Narcissists frequently employ text manipulation as a means of pushing limits. They might use texts to threaten, embarrass, or coerce you into violating their no-contact agreement. These communications frequently try to elicit an emotional reaction from you, which makes it difficult to keep your distance.

In order to successfully maintain No Contact, communicate clearly defined boundaries. Give a succinct response without getting too attached. Set clear limits for yourself and stay out of conflicts or efforts at manipulation. Recall that responding consistently helps others understand how important it is to respect your limits and take care of yourself.

Blocking the narcissist's phone number, not answering their messages, asking friends or a therapist for help, and concentrating on self-healing and personal development are some strategies for upholding No Contact. Remain steadfast in your resolve to put your health first and refuse to let the narcissist's deceptive SMS messages ruin your tranquility of mind.

7-Future Faking

In order to manipulate others and control their emotions, narcissists frequently utilize the method of "future faking" in text messages. It entails making pledges or commitments that you don't really plan to keep. These meaningless guarantees are designed to keep you enthralled, optimistic, and in the narcissist's grip.

Text messages containing promises of a romantic holiday, a pledge to make positive changes, or assurances of a promising future together are examples of future faking. But since the narcissist's major objective is to maintain your emotional investment without having to uphold their word, these promises frequently go unfulfilled.

It's critical to control your expectations and avoid relying on hollow promises if you want to safeguard yourself against becoming a victim of future fake. Set limits and hold the narcissist responsible for their lack of follow-through to prioritize your emotional well-being. Recognize patterns of conduct where words don't match deeds. You can protect yourself from future faking tactics used by narcissists to manipulate your emotions through text messages by remaining loyal to yourself and refusing to let false hopes cloud your judgment.

8-Hoovering

"Hoovering" is the term used to describe the manipulative strategy employed by a narcissist to entice their victim back into a relationship. This could entail messages that appear kind or innocent but are actually intended to rekindle emotions and keep control over the victim.

Although it can be difficult to recognize hoovering attempts in text messages, doing so is essential to keep oneself from reverting to a poisonous dynamic. Abrupt shows of affection, empty promises of change, or emotionally manipulative statements that instill guilt are all indicative of hoovering.

Setting limits and being aware of the underlying motives behind these messages are crucial for preventing yourself from falling victim to them again. One can prevent falling into the narcissist's trap again by responding with clarity and firmness, refraining from manipulating emotions, and gaining support from dependable friends or experts.

9-Withholding

Narcissists frequently utilize withholding in text messages as a means of controlling and manipulating other people. As a power move, they can disregard communications, postpone answering, or hide crucial information. Recipients of this conduct may experience feelings of powerlessness, uncertainty, and anxiety.

When a narcissist deliberately takes a long time to respond to a message, keeping the recipient guessing, that is an example of withholding through messaging. Another illustration would be to avoid offering direct replies and instead give ambiguous ones that leave the other person in the dark.

Setting limits and placing self-respect first are crucial when dealing with a narcissist who is threatening to withhold behavior from you via messages. In these kinds of circumstances, you can keep your composure and confidence by responding coolly and confidently. Recall that in all of your interactions, including text messaging, you deserve to be treated with integrity and respect.

10-Denial and Deflection

Narcissists frequently use denial and deflection in text chats as a means of avoiding accepting blame or responsibility for their actions. In these situations, they can just deny any misconduct or turn the spotlight elsewhere rather than on themselves. They might, for instance, suggest that you are exaggerating or misinterpreting the circumstances in order to gaslight you.

Remaining grounded and holding onto truth is crucial while dealing with a narcissist's denial and diversion through text messages. Recall that their actions are not an accurate reflection of who you are; rather, they are a reflection of their own fears and manipulative tendencies.

Trusting your gut and intuition is one way to maintain your composure in the face of denial or diversion. Don't second-guess yourself if anything seems strange or doesn't fit with your interpretation of the circumstances. Seek approval from dependable family members or friends to obtain viewpoints uninfluenced by the narcissist.

It's critical to establish limits with the narcissist. If needed, establish consequences for their actions and communicate with them in an aggressive manner. Setting and upholding limits gives you self-control and prevents the narcissist from trying to manipulate you further. Keep in mind that in every communication, including text messaging, you deserve to be treated with decency and candor.

11-Pity Plays

Narcissists frequently employ pity plays in text messages as a way to control feelings and win people over. The recipient of these messages frequently feels guilty or pitied, and is then pressured to console or stand by the narcissist. Pity plays might contain messages meant to elicit a particular response by emphasizing the narcissist's problems, health problems, or emotional troubles.

When faced with pity plays in text messages from a narcissist, it's important to recognize the manipulation at play and respond with boundaries and self-care in mind.

1. **Set Boundaries**: Clearly communicate your limits and boundaries when responding to these messages. Let the narcissist know what you are willing or not willing to engage with.

2. **Stay Empathetic but Firm**: Show empathy towards their struggles without allowing them to guilt-trip you. Acknowledge their feelings but remain firm in your stance.

3. **Redirect the Conversation**: Shift the focus of the conversation away from their pity plays towards more neutral topics or solutions.🧭

4. **Seek Support**: Talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor for guidance on how to navigate these manipulative tactics.

Remember, it is crucial to prioritize your well-being and mental health when dealing with manipulative messages from a narcissist using pity plays.

12-Closure Seeking Messages

Narcissists' attempts to find closure in their communications might be a prevalent manipulative tactic. Under the pretense of wanting closure, they might abruptly reach out in an effort to revisit previous hurts or conversations. Rather than actually attempting to find closure or conclusion, these messages frequently seek to elicit strong feelings and reclaim control over the story.

Identifying these signals of closure is essential to keeping good boundaries with a narcissist. Watch out for words that appear phony or manipulative, including abrupt vows of wanting things put right without owning up to mistakes they've made in the past or accepting responsibility for their conduct. Be mindful that reaching genuine closure doesn't always need speaking with a narcissist face-to-face, particularly if doing so could result in additional emotional distress or manipulation.

To safeguard your wellbeing, think about establishing clear boundaries while replying to narcissists' letters that are intended to provide you closure. React succinctly and with attention to your own requirements; avoid long-winded conversations that could further their power over the circumstance. Recall that you are in charge of determining how much contact you have with a narcissist and that you should put your emotional well-being ahead of their desire for closure.

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About Author


Benjamin Sanders

🌟 I'm Dr. Benjamin Sanders, a social science specialist and psychology graduate from New York University. I'm passionate about changing lives by self-awareness and deep connections. Encouraging people to reach their full potential and have happy lives is my goal as a committed professional.

🔍 I lead clients toward self-discovery and personal development because of my vast experience in comprehending the nuances of human behavior. I help people develop remarkable relationships that improve their personal and professional lives by assisting them in shifting limiting ideas and breaking free from old patterns.

✍️ I frequently write interesting dating articles and advice that offer insightful advice on creating wholesome connections in an effort to share my experience with a larger audience. The purpose of my writing is to provide people with useful tools so they may confidently navigate the intricacies of contemporary relationships.

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Mark Harriman

Mark Harriman   article is checkedExpert Reviewed

Mark Harriman is a writer and editor with over a decade of experience in both lifestyle and relationships topics.

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