25 Things Narcissists Say in Relationship & What They Really Mean

25 Things Narcissists Say in Relationship & What They Really Mean
Photo by John Peterson on Unsplash

1. Introduction

Introduction: Understanding narcissism in relationships is crucial for recognizing and addressing toxic dynamics. Narcissists exhibit a pattern of self-centered behavior, seeking admiration and lacking empathy for others. In romantic relationships, their words can be manipulative and misleading, disguising their true intentions. Unraveling the hidden meanings behind what narcissists say is key to protecting oneself from emotional harm and manipulation. By becoming aware of these phrases, individuals can empower themselves to set boundaries and navigate relationships with narcissists more effectively.đź’ż

2. "You're too sensitive"

"You're too sensitive," is a common gaslighting technique used by narcissists to undermine their victims' feelings and sense of reality. The narcissist manipulates you into doubting your own interpretation of events by brushing off your feelings as too sensitive or illogical. When you begin to feel as though your emotions are inappropriate or unjustified, this can cause uncertainty and disorientation.

Repetition of this statement over time might be harmful to your self-esteem. You can begin to doubt yourself and become more uncomfortable expressing your feelings. Constantly having your feelings invalidated can lead to feelings of loneliness and lack of support in the relationship, which can eventually weaken your self-worth.

These kinds of gaslighting techniques should be recognized in order to safeguard your emotional health and establish boundaries in unhealthy relationships. Remind yourself that you are entitled to respect and consideration from people who say they care about you, and that your feelings are real.

3. "I need to be with someone who understands me better"

Saying, "I need to be with someone who understands me better," is a common manipulative strategy used by narcissists to put their partners through guilt trips. This phrase gently places the blame on the spouse, making them feel unworthy or accountable for meeting the requirements of the narcissist. In actuality, the narcissist expects their partner to meet all of their emotional demands without inquiry and is unwilling to accept responsibility for their own failings. It produces a dynamic in which the spouse is made to feel as though they are never able to comprehend or satisfy the needs of the narcissist.

4. "You're overreacting"

Saying something like, "You're overreacting," by a narcissist is frequently a gaslighting technique meant to minimize their partner's emotions. The goal of this remark is to cause the other person to question the veracity of their feelings and experiences. The narcissist manipulates their relationship by making their partner's reactions seem excessive or unjustified, which causes them to doubt their own reality and views. It can lead to a situation where the victim feels alone and self-conscious, which facilitates the narcissist's ability to keep control of the relationship. To regain their clarity and confidence, people in these situations must identify this manipulation technique and seek help.

5. "I'm sorry you feel that way"

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Photo by John Peterson on Unsplash

Narcissists often use the words "I'm sorry you feel that way" to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and to shift the blame. In actuality, a narcissist who says this is saying, "I'm sorry you're upset about what I did, but I'm not sorry for what I did." This claim invalidates your sentiments and gives the impression that you, not them, are the source of the issue by drawing attention away from their actions and toward your response.

When a narcissist says, "I'm sorry you feel that way," they are not demonstrating true regret or acknowledging the consequences of their behavior. Their lack of accountability permits them to stay in charge and carry on with their destructive behavior without fear of repercussions. In addition, it further solidifies the power dynamics in the relationship by deceiving the victim into questioning their own feelings and sense of reality.

It's critical to identify this term as a manipulation used by narcissists to avoid accountability and uphold their exaggerated feeling of self-importance. By realizing the full significance of this non-apology, victims of narcissistic abuse can take care of their own needs and leave unhealthy relationships behind.

6. "You're just too insecure"

Saying to you, "You're just too insecure," by a narcissist is frequently an attempt to divert attention away from their own destructive actions. They minimize the significance of your emotions and turn the attention toward you by characterizing your well-founded worries as simple insecurity. This strategy works to undermine your confidence by getting you to mistrust your intuition and question yourself.

Vulnerabilities are easily exploited by narcissists, who use them to control and manipulate their relationships. They want to keep you feeling uneasy so they may continue to have the upper hand in the relationship by making you feel insecure. This statement is a narcissist's technique to assert power and undermine your feeling of self-worth, not to assist you develop or gain confidence.

If your significant other tells you that you're too insecure, stop, think about what's being said, and evaluate why. Acknowledge that it can be a means for them to escape accountability for what they've done and deceive you into thinking that what they've done is OK. Trust your gut and look for assistance from specialists or close friends who can help you navigate toxic relationships like these and confirm your value.

7. "I do everything for you, but you never appreciate it"

"I do everything for you, but you never appreciate it," is a common manipulative used by narcissists to put their relationships through guilt trips. This comment betrays a sense of entitlement and a need for return favors. In actuality, what they mean is that they want continuous acknowledgment and approval for even the tiniest favors they perform. They want to control your feelings and actions, so they present their acts as altruistic and imply that you are not appreciative of them.

Narcissists frequently use these phrases to create a power dynamic in relationships. They use the favors they do to exert influence over you, increasing the likelihood that you will submit to their requests by creating a sense of obligation. This emotional blackmail can make you feel dependent on other people and hinder your ability to stand up for yourself and establish limits.

It's critical to see these techniques for what they are: deceptive methods used to uphold power in the partnership. You can start to restore your independence and defend yourself against emotional blackmail by realizing the genuine motivations behind such claims.

8. "Why can't you just trust me?"

Narcissists frequently utilize the age-old tactic of "Why can't you just trust me?" to control their relationships. Although it could appear to be a request for understanding and trust at first, it is actually a strategy to avoid accountability and keep power. By using this argument, narcissists attempt to undermine their partners' feelings and intuition and hold them accountable for any lack of trust in the partnership.

This claim reinforces the dominance dynamic that narcissists frequently create in partnerships. By making their partner feel guilty and inadequate, they make them wonder why their lover can't trust them. The goal of this manipulation technique is to make the partner feel uneasy and dependent on the narcissist for assurance and approval.

What a narcissist truly means when they ask, "Why can't you just trust me?" is that they want to be in charge of the relationship and keep their power. People who are in a relationship with a narcissist should be aware of these manipulative strategies and put their own wellbeing first by establishing boundaries and getting help.

9. "You're crazy!"

"You're crazy!" is a common approach used by narcissists to deceive their partners. When an abuser uses gaslighting, they manipulate their victim by making them doubt their feelings, ideas, and reality. Here, the narcissist wants to make their spouse look crazy in order to discredit them and question their sanity.

Another instance of projection is this statement, in which the narcissist projects their own characteristics or actions onto their spouse. The narcissist turns the attention from themselves to the victim by calling the other person insane. It permits them to evade accepting accountability for their deeds or admitting guilt.

A narcissist's cry of crazy can have a detrimental effect on a partner's mental health and general wellbeing. Being told you're insane all the time can cause anxiety, sadness, self-doubt, and a sense of being disconnected from reality. It can gradually weaken the victim's feeling of value in themselves and increase their susceptibility to additional manipulation by the narcissist.

10. "You're so lucky to have me"

Saying something like, "You're so lucky to have me," exposes the underlying entitlement and superiority attitude of a narcissist. The concept that they are unique and indispensable is concealed behind these words, which obliquely suggest that you should be appreciative of their existence in your life. This comment establishes the tone for the power dynamics in the relationship in addition to highlighting their exaggerated sense of self-worth.

In order to keep control and influence over their relationship, narcissists present themselves as the object to be obtained or sought after. They minimize the value of the other person while simultaneously looking for approval and admiration. Because of this relationship, there is an imbalance of power where the narcissist demands submission from their spouse and asserts dominance over them.

Essentially, when a narcissist says, "You're so lucky to have me," they are perpetuating a story in which they are the better half of the couple and their desire for attention. This may result in gaslighting, emotional blackmail, and other poisonous actions that further bolster their dominance. Recognizing and addressing these negative dynamics in relationships with narcissistic partners can be made easier for people when they comprehend these underlying reasons.

11. "I would never lie to you"

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"I would never lie to you." Narcissists frequently employ this ostensibly comforting remark as a means of controlling their partners. A narcissistic relationship is characterized by dishonesty and deceit, since the narcissist frequently pretends to be sincere in order to manipulate and dominate people around them.

What a narcissist truly means when they say, "I would never lie to you," is that they are adept at manipulating the facts to suit their needs. When it comes to putting on a front of honesty and integrity, narcissists are skilled at hiding their dishonest actions behind closed doors.

People who are aware of the ways in which narcissists present a false sense of sincerity are better able to recognize the deceptive strategies these destructive personalities adopt. One can start to escape the cycle of deception and take back control of their own life and emotions by seeing the gap between words and deeds.

It's critical to pay attention to both the words being spoken and the behaviors that go along with them in order to dissect dishonesty in communication. Even while narcissists seem earnest and talk with conviction, their dishonesty frequently comes through in their actions and responses.

People who are in relationships with narcissists should follow their gut instinct and look for professional help or assistance from people who they can trust to help them navigate these tricky dynamics. By illuminating the deceptive tactics used by narcissists, people can safeguard themselves against more deceit and discover a route to recovery and self-determination.🤓

12. Conclusion

After putting everything above together, we can say that self-protection requires a grasp of the critical terms narcissists employ in relationships. People can empower themselves to set limits and protect their mental and emotional health by identifying these behaviors early on. Manipulative language and behaviors must never be discounted or accepted as normal since they have the potential to develop into more damaging patterns over time.

Gaslighting remarks like "You're too sensitive" or "You're overreacting," which undercut the other person's feelings and reality, are among the frequent phrases used by narcissists. Narcissists use statements like "Nobody else will love you like I do" or "I'm the best you'll ever have" to control and manipulate their partners' self-esteem.

People can safeguard themselves against entering poisonous connections with narcissistic people by being aware of these warning signs and getting help from dependable friends, family, or professionals. Recall that putting your own needs and mental health first is not selfish—rather, it is essential to living a happy and healthy life.


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About Author


Jessica Campbell

Hello I'm Dr. Jessica Campbell, a Dartmouth College-educated specialist in social interaction who is devoted and passionate about her work. By transforming relationships—both with others and with myself—I enable others to change their lives via my skill and distinctive style. Clients may unleash their full potential and overcome behavioral patterns that impede them by following my instruction. Being a skilled writer, I frequently offer insightful dating advice in my blog entries and articles. I provide readers the skills they need to successfully navigate the complicated world of relationships by fusing the most recent research with useful tactics. I have a sincere desire to see people flourish in their interpersonal relationships, and I have witnessed innumerable people go through significant changes while I have been their mentor. Because I'm empathic, I can offer a safe environment for clients to explore long-held views and uncover fresh viewpoints.

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Mark Harriman

Mark Harriman   article is checkedExpert Reviewed

Mark Harriman is a writer and editor with over a decade of experience in both lifestyle and relationships topics.

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