Can a Narcissist Love?

1. Introduction

The term "narcissism," which is widely used informally, is a psychological disorder marked by an exaggerated feeling of one's own importance, a strong desire for unrequited attention and admiration, strained relationships, and a lack of empathy for other people. Narcissistic people frequently put their own needs and wants ahead of all other people's, depending on other people's approval and acknowledgement to support their brittle sense of self. But one subject that comes up a lot in narcissistic debates is whether or not a narcissist can love. Is it possible for someone who is so preoccupied with their own ego to have true love and a relationship with another person? This intricate matter explores the essence of comprehending human emotions and interpersonal connections.🔆

Stay tuned as we unravel the intricate layers of narcissism and its impact on the capacity to love.

2. What is Narcissism?

A grandiose feeling of self-importance, an incessant desire for adulation, and a lack of empathy for others are characteristics of narcissism, a personality disorder. Narcissistic individuals frequently feel they are better than other people and need a lot of praise and attention. They might take advantage of people to further their objectives and battle with judgment or perceived slights.📚

Narcissism can be especially harmful in partnerships. Narcissists' partners may experience incessant manipulation, criticism, or invalidation. Focusing on the demands of the narcissist frequently causes an imbalance in the relationship when the desires of one person take precedence over those of the other. This may lead to a toxic relationship when control strategies, emotional abuse, and gaslighting are frequent occurrences.

Narcissism's effects on relationships can cause the partner experiencing it to feel emotionally spent, alone, and unworthy. Breakdowns in communication and issues building intimacy or trust might exacerbate the relationship. In order to deal with the difficulties that come with loving someone who exhibits narcissistic characteristics, it is imperative to comprehend these dynamics.

3. Types of Love

Humans can experience three different kinds of love: platonic, family, and romantic. In the context of romantic love, a narcissist may come off as incredibly charming and committed at first, but this is frequently a façade used to garner attention rather than real connection. When it comes to family ties, a narcissist could see their relatives as mirror images of themselves, appreciating them more for their reflections than for their unique personalities. A narcissist may look for companions in platonic relationships who will feed their ego and meet their demands without providing the same kind of reciprocity or support. With a narcissist at the center, these kinds of love might come across as one-sided and lacking in genuine emotional depth.

Love bombing is the practice of a narcissist showing their lover a lot of love and devotion right away in a romantic setting. But since the narcissist puts their own wants first, this can eventually give birth to manipulation and control. A narcissist at play can cause tension in family connections since they frequently demand complete devotion and respect from family members without giving anything in return. Plutonic relationships with a narcissist can entail the use of friends more for self-gratification or approval than for the development of equitable, enduring relationships based on compassion and trust. A narcissist's displays of love are typically shallow and unauthentic, lacking the depth and genuineness of relationships in good health.

4. Love vs. Narcissistic Behavior

Empathy, respect for one another, and sincere concern for the other person's welfare are all components of healthy love expressions. In a loving relationship, partners give priority to their significant other's needs and happiness, promote each other's development, and exhibit empathy during trying times.

Narcissistic actions, on the other hand, are distinguished by a lack of empathy, manipulation, and an emphasis on oneself. A narcissist may pretend to be loving their partner in order to get approval and recognition, as opposed to truly caring for them. They frequently manipulate circumstances to further their own interests and regularly prioritize their wants over those of others.

For instance, in a healthy relationship, couples actively listen to each other's worries, discuss their feelings honestly, and cooperate to find positive solutions to problems. In contrast, a narcissist may denigrate or gaslight their spouse in order to preserve their sense of control and authority in the relationship.

In summary, narcissistic behavior is primarily about power, manipulation, and the need for affirmation without a true emotional connection, whereas love is about give and take, understanding, and mutual progress. Making these distinctions is crucial if one is to protect themselves from toxic relationships and foster good ones.

5. The Narcissist's Perception of Love

Love is seen by narcissists through a filter that frequently puts their own wants and needs first. For them, love is no longer so much about respect and caring for one another as it is about what they can get out of a partnership. Instead of seeing love as an emotional bond, they could view it as a means of approval, control, or affirmation. Their understanding of love is typically biased toward sating their egos and upholding their self-concept.

Narcissists frequently have a desire for validation, power, and adoration in relationships. They look for companions who can satisfy their insatiable desire for attention and who can help them feel more confident. These people may use love as a tool to manipulate other people, enhancing their grandiose and sense of superiority. Their motives for pursuing relationships are frequently self-serving; they don't really want to connect with someone deeply; instead, they want to satisfy their own emotional demands.

The narcissist's incapacity to create true emotional attachments and underlying insecurities cloud their view of love. Usually, they are more interested in relationships to feed their ego and keep up a façade of perfection than they are in falling in love with someone based on empathy, mutual respect, and understanding.

6. Emotional Connection in Relationships

Healthy relationships depend on emotional connection since it promotes closeness, trust, and understanding between partners. It entails feeling safe in the relationship, supporting one another emotionally, and disclosing vulnerabilities to one another. But because narcissists are insensitive and self-centered, it might be difficult for them to make real emotional connections.

Narcissists frequently find it difficult to feel other people's emotions and put their own needs first. Their inability to genuinely establish an emotional connection with their relationships may be hampered by this self-absorption. Instead of truly caring or being affectionate, they could enter into relationships for their own benefit, approval, or control.

Narcissists may find it difficult to comprehend or accept their partner's feelings and viewpoints, which can cause miscommunications and arguments in the relationship. Their inability to foster a strong emotional connection built on respect and understanding can be overshadowed by their incessant demand for approval and validation.

To sum up, although a narcissist may exhibit behaviors that resemble love or affection in a relationship, it is difficult for them to develop real emotional bonds with their partners because of their innate characteristics. Comprehending these dynamics is essential for those interacting with narcissists to manage relationships skillfully and obtain assistance when required.

7. Impact on Partners and Loved Ones

The impact of being in a relationship with a narcissist can be significant for both partners and family members. The narcissist's incessant desire for approval and validation frequently leaves their spouse feeling abandoned and emotionally spent. Partners may discover that they have to continually tread carefully in order to prevent arguments or to stroke the narcissist's delicate ego. The partner may experience worry, depression, or low self-esteem as a result of this.

A narcissist's emotional toll on partners and loved ones can be profound. The partner's sense of identity and worth can be undermined by the narcissist's constant manipulation, gaslighting, and criticism. Partners may experience feelings of inadequacy or persistent disregard for their needs and emotions in favor of the narcissist's personal needs.

Extreme highs and lows in emotions are common in relationships with narcissists, resulting in an unpredictable and unstable cycle. Partners may experience confusion, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion as a result of this emotional rollercoaster.

In summary, the persistent need for affirmation, emotional manipulation, and lack of empathy that characterize narcissistic behavior can have a negative impact on partners and loved ones in a relationship with a narcissist. In order to safeguard their mental health and general wellbeing, it is crucial for those affected by these kinds of relationships to set boundaries and seek support.

8. Can a Narcissist Change?

Does narcissism allow for change? This inquiry delves profoundly into the essence of narcissistic personality characteristics. Although everyone may change, people with narcissistic tendencies find it especially difficult because of their rigid self-perception. Change can occasionally be sparked by intensive therapy that focuses on empathy, comprehending the viewpoints of others, and resolving underlying fears. Crucial elements of growth are self-reflection, a readiness for introspection, and an awareness of how one's actions affect other people. Developing self-awareness and starting a shift within a narcissist requires accepting vulnerability and getting competent mental health assistance. It takes commitment, humility, and a strong desire to break free from deeply ingrained behavioral patterns for a narcissist to truly change.

9. Seeking Help for Narcissistic Traits

It is imperative for those who want to enhance their relationships and overall well-being to get treatment for narcissistic tendencies. The first step is identifying these inclinations. Narcissism may be indicated by symptoms such as an insatiable need for praise, a lack of empathy, and an entitlement complex. After these characteristics are recognized, people might address them in counseling or therapy. The development of self-awareness, empathy, and more healthy coping techniques can be aided by professional counseling.

Therapy is frequently advised for people looking for assistance with narcissistic tendencies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a useful tool for behavior modification and for confronting maladaptive thought processes. Psychodynamic treatment explores the psychological underpinnings of narcissism. Group therapy offers peers who are going through comparable things assistance. Self-care habits and mindfulness exercises help improve emotional control and introspection.

A multitude of resources are accessible to those in need of help with narcissism. Online resources for reflection and development include articles, discussion boards, and self-help tools. Books like Wendy T. Behary's "Disarming the Narcissist" offer advice and techniques for handling narcissistic traits on a personal or interpersonal level. Consulting with mental health specialists, such as psychiatrists or psychologists who specialize in personality disorders, guarantees individualized support during the healing process.

To sum up what I've written so far, identifying and treating narcissistic tendencies is an important first step in creating happier, healthier relationships and a more fulfilled life. Through therapy, introspection, and expert advice, people can endeavor to improve their self-awareness, empathy, and ability to foster real connections with other people.

10. Healing from Narcissistic Relationships

Healing from relationships with narcissists is a challenging journey, but it is possible. Here are some tips to help you recover from these toxic relationships and move forward in a healthy way: 1. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse.

2. Practice self-care regularly to nurture your well-being and rebuild your self-esteem.

3. Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm and assert your needs.

4. Focus on personal growth and self-discovery to rediscover your worth beyond the narcissist's view.

5. Allow yourself time to grieve the lost relationship while keeping in mind that healing is a process.

Recall that setting boundaries and emphasizing self-care are essential components of recovering from narcissistic relationships. A healthier and more promising future is yours to create by taking care of yourself and shielding yourself from negative influences.

11. Examples from Literature and Media

There are many examples of narcissistic characters that have trouble understanding love in literature and popular culture. Jay Gatsby from "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald is one well-known literary example. Many people view Gatsby's relentless pursuit of Daisy Buchanan as more of a lustful than a sincere romantic interest. Rather of developing a strong emotional bond, his obsession with her wealth and prestige is a reflection of his narcissistic propensity to objectify others for one's own benefit.

One more well-known figure displaying narcissistic tendencies is Scarlett O'Hara from Margaret Mitchell's "Gone with the Wind." Scarlett lacks empathy for everyone around her, especially the people she is in love with, as evidenced by her conceited attitude and cunning actions. Her deep-seated fears and need for approval are the root cause of her incapacity to fully return love, underscoring the damaging effects of narcissism in partnerships.

In today's media, the character of Don Draper from the TV show "Mad Men" offers a powerful depiction of a narcissistic character's battle with love. Draper's charming exterior conceals a deep sense of emptiness and loneliness, which drives him to have several extramarital romances and flimsy partnerships. His narcissistic tendencies ultimately ruin any prospect of real love or intimacy, even with his desire for connection.

Comparably, Nina Sayers plays a narcissistic character in the movie "Black Swan," where she is driven by her need for approval and perfection in the cutthroat world of ballet. She is unable to establish healthy relationships built on emotional reciprocity and mutual respect because of her warped sense of reality and persistent desire for outside validation.

These instances show how narcissism can make it difficult for someone to love another person in a genuine, true way. We are finally reminded of the complicated dynamics at work when narcissism and love collide through nuanced characterizations in literature and culture, which helps to illuminate the intricacies inherent in these kinds of relationships.

12. Expert Insights on Narcissism and Love

Psychologists and therapists that specialize in treating personality disorders can offer important insights into the intricate relationships between narcissism and love. While people with narcissistic features may develop bonds and exhibit actions that mimic love, many experts in this field contend that these people may not always be able to fully feel genuine love.

Some psychologists contend that because narcissists prioritize improving themselves, lack empathy, and find it difficult to connect deeply emotionally with others, they may find it difficult to participate in positive, reciprocal relationships. This may make it more difficult for them to feel love in the same manner as people who don't have narcissistic traits.

In order to foster a more sincere relationship with others, therapists who work with narcissistic persons frequently stress the significance of treating underlying insecurities as well as building empathy and emotional awareness. Even if it could be difficult for narcissists to fully accept love in its purest form, therapy and introspection can be quite helpful in promoting more positive relationship dynamics.

13. Personal Stories and Experiences

Investigating the topic of "Can a Narcissist Love?" requires delving into individual experiences and tales. It's helpful to hear from those who have had relationships with narcissists since it provides important insights into the intricacies of these situations. These examples highlight the various ways that love can appear in these relationships by shedding light on various viewpoints and consequences.

One person describes how their partner's narcissistic characteristics attracted them in with big gestures and flattery at first, but now they seem like confidence and charisma. However, they eventually fell victim to emotional blackmail and gaslighting, which made them doubt reality and their own value. Though there were tender moments, the relationship eventually revolved around the narcissist's wants and demands, exposing a self-serving and conditional love.

On the other hand, another describes a voyage that was both high and low, filled with great desire and devaluation. They discovered via therapy and introspection that, despite the narcissist's frequently flimsy displays of affection, there were moments of sensitivity and insecurity underneath the façade. This sophisticated viewpoint highlights the variety of emotions involved in narcissistic relationships and questions traditional ideas of love in such partnerships.

These intimate stories are powerful reminders of the complexity and paradoxes inherent in love within the framework of narcissism. Amid the confusion, some people may have experienced heartache and manipulation, while others may have seen glimpses of true emotion. By telling these tales, we can better comprehend the complex interactions that exist between narcissism and love, illuminating a sometimes misinterpreted facet of interpersonal relationships.

14. The Role of Empathy in Relationships

Developing empathy is essential to maintaining wholesome relationships. It entails having the capacity to empathize with people, comprehend and share their emotions, recognize their needs, and extend assistance when required. Empathy promotes closeness, trust, and emotional intimacy in a partnership. Mutual respect and understanding are fostered and the relationship is strengthened when one partner demonstrates empathy for the other.💭

Empathy impairments can have a serious negative effect on a narcissist's capacity for love. Because of their inordinate attention to their own needs and wants, narcissists frequently find it difficult to sympathize with others. Relationship stress can result from this self-centered viewpoint, which might cause them to minimize or ignore their partner's feelings and experiences. A narcissist may find it difficult to establish a genuine emotional connection with their spouse or to give the kind of care and support that successful partnerships need if they lack empathy.

Furthermore, empathy is crucial for developing good relationships and loving, as I mentioned previously. Lack of it can make it more difficult for narcissists to establish sincere relationships based on empathy, respect, and understanding. People with narcissistic qualities who want to build happy relationships based on love and real emotional connection must address their empathy deficits.

15. Boundaries and Self-Love Practices

When interacting with a narcissist, it's imperative to establish limits. Establishing clear limits for acceptable and unacceptable behavior is crucial, and maintaining them in the face of coercion or pressure is even more crucial. Maintaining these limits can be facilitated by prioritizing self-respect and realizing your own value.

Self-love exercises are essential for empowering people in narcissistic relationships. Positive affirmations, self-care practices, counseling, mindfulness exercises, and participation in endeavors that foster wellbeing and personal development can all fall under this category. Developing a solid sense of self-worth can serve as a basis for setting and upholding appropriate boundaries and avoiding exploitation.

To navigate relationships with narcissists, one must love oneself enough to put one's mental and emotional health first. Setting boundaries and practicing self-love can help people shield themselves from the damaging effects of being with people who might not be genuinely loving and empathic.

16. Societal Influence on Perceptions of Love

Social conventions have a significant impact on how love is understood and shown, which may encourage narcissistic conduct. Individual accomplishment and grandiosity are valued in some cultures, and narcissistic tendencies may be more readily accepted or even commended. This can skew people's ideas of what love is, elevating ego satisfaction and control over empathy and respect for one another in a partnership. Promoting ideals like empathy, equality, and sincere connection above flimsy characteristics or power dynamics is necessary to change these cultural mindsets toward healthier relationships.

In order to combat the social reinforcement of narcissistic conduct, it is imperative to foster a culture that values emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and cooperation in interpersonal relationships. Open communication, attentive listening, and respect for personal space are all important strategies to help break down the myth that narcissism is all about being self-centered. Encouraging people to place a high value on being aware of their partners' needs and feelings creates an environment in which positive relationship dynamics can flourish.

It is crucial to question societal norms that associate love with ownership or control in order to change people's perspectives on relationships. Prioritizing consent, autonomy, and reciprocity establishes the groundwork for more real relationships built on understanding and sincere concern. We can cultivate a culture that honors love in its most basic form—one that fosters development, support, and emotional well-being for all parties involved—by emphasizing the importance of emotional closeness and shared experiences over monetary success or social standing.

Combating narcissistic tendencies that are reinforced by society norms can also be accomplished through encouraging self-awareness and self-reflection within communities. Encouraging people to reflect on their actions, intentions, and effects on other people cultivates empathy and a sense of accountability that are essential for building strong bonds. Through cultivating an environment that values self-reflection and personal development, we enable people to overcome harmful habits and adopt more genuine approaches to showing love to others.

Taking into account everything mentioned above, we can draw the conclusion that society influences have a big impact on how we view relationships and love. We create space for more positive relationships based on respect, empathy, and real connection when we challenge the standards that support or condone narcissistic behavior. To build relationships based on authenticity rather than power dynamics or ego pleasure, cultural attitudes must change to prioritize emotional intelligence, mutual understanding, and respect. We can endeavor to create a society where love is characterized by compassion, reciprocity, and healthy interdependence through advocacy, education, and personal reflection.

17. Genetic and Environmental Factors Contributing to Narcissism

Environmental and genetic variables are important in the development of narcissistic tendencies. Environmental factors can have a substantial impact on the development of narcissism, even while genetic predispositions may make people more prone to acquiring narcissistic traits. According to research, these features can be influenced by both nature and nurture.

Genetic influences may affect how people interpret social cues, control their emotions, and view themselves in relation to others. Some genetic variants may predispose people to self-centered conduct or an exaggerated sense of their own importance. These genetic features may make people more likely to acquire narcissistic behaviors.

However, one's personality and actions can also be shaped by environmental variables, including upbringing, societal influences, and early life experiences. Childhood experiences can have a big influence on how narcissistic tendencies develop, especially when it comes to parenting style, attachment styles, and the validation that a child receives during their formative years. Narcissistic tendencies can be reinforced by societal norms that elevate external success, power dynamics in relationships, or continuous exposure to praise via social media.

Deciphering the intricate relationship between inherited tendencies and contextual factors is crucial to comprehending the origins of narcissism. We may be able to understand why certain people may be more likely than others to develop narcissistic tendencies by looking at the ways in which these factors interact and impact one another. This all-encompassing method can aid in our understanding of the complex nature of narcissism and its causes.

18 . Impact on Children Raised by Narcissistic Parents

Children who grow up with narcissistic parents may have distorted perceptions of affection and love. They could experience love as manipulative, unreliable, or conditional. Children who grow up with a parent who prioritizes their own needs may feel ignored, insignificant, or continuously seek out validation and approval that may never truly arrive. This dynamic may influence how they see relationships, making it difficult for them to build wholesome bonds based on empathy and respect for one another.

Raised by a narcissistic parent can have significant and lasting long-term impacts. Youngsters may experience issues with poor self-worth, inadequate feelings, or trouble setting limits in social situations. They might engage in harmful activities themselves or recur in habits of looking to others for approval. Because of the residual effects of their childhood, these people could find it difficult to trust people, show vulnerability, or keep stable and satisfying relationships as adults.

Therapy, introspection, and a deliberate effort to retrain oneself in the principles of healthy relationships and love are frequently necessary in order to address these impacts. People can start the process of healing and escaping harmful patterns that have influenced their perception of love and connection by admitting the effects of having a narcissistic parent.

19 . Strategies for Coping with a Narcissistic Partner

It is imperative that you put your personal health first when managing a narcissistic relationship. Establishing boundaries is essential in these kinds of relationships; be explicit about what you need and be strong to safeguard your mental well-being. Regularly take care of yourself by engaging in joyful hobbies, mindfulness activities, or asking friends or a therapist for support. Keep in mind that while you have no power over your partner's actions, you do have power over your own reactions and self-care.

Building a solid support network might help you navigate a relationship with a narcissistic partner by offering consolation and perspective. Join support groups or surround yourself with empathetic people so you may talk about your experiences and gain insight from others going through similar things. Maintaining a journal can assist you in safely processing your emotions by allowing you to discreetly express your ideas and feelings. The detrimental effects of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person can be mitigated by partaking in activities that increase your confidence and sense of self.

If necessary, seek professional assistance to obtain understanding of coping strategies unique to your circumstances. Counseling can provide direction on how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and develop coping mechanisms specifically designed to handle narcissistic tendencies. If both of you are willing, encourage an honest discussion with your partner about going to couples therapy; but be ready for possible resistance or denial from the narcissistic person. Recall that putting your mental health first is not selfish—rather, it's essential to living a well-rounded and satisfying life.

When dealing with difficult encounters with a narcissistic partner, create inner calm by practicing mindfulness and stress-reduction strategies. You can learn to center yourself during conflict or emotional upheaval by practicing yoga, meditation, or deep breathing techniques. Put your attention on things that encourage calmness and good vibes, including going outside, creating art or writing, or listening to relaxing music. Maintaining your physical health with regular exercise and a healthy diet also plays a role in your general wellbeing.

Never forget that in any relationship, you deserve respect, love, and happiness. When the dynamic starts to negatively impact your mental and emotional well-being, you should be aware of it. It's acceptable to put your needs first and, if necessary, stop the relationship for your own sake. Have faith in your gut and respect yourself enough to look for happier relationships where real love, empathy, and respect are the norm. Remain dedicated to self-care routines that uplift your spirit and give you the strength to overcome the difficulties presented by a narcissistic spouse.

20 . Legal Implications in Relationships with Narcissists

When separating from someone who leans toward narcissism, there may be a number of legal ramifications to take into account. When dealing with someone who demonstrates narcissistic qualities, the process of separation or divorce, whether one is married or in a partnership, can be intricate and emotionally taxing. To fully understand your rights and options, it is crucial that you seek legal assistance from experts with expertise with cases similar to this one.

Maintaining all communication logs and recording interactions can be crucial in narcissist-related legal processes. This evidence can help your case because it sheds light on the narcissistic person's behavior habits. Throughout this process, self-care must be prioritized because it can be mentally draining. Establishing limits and asking for help from therapists, family members, or trusted friends can help you go through this trying time more skillfully.

Remaining calm and fact-focused is crucial while dealing with narcissists in court. In an effort to obtain the upper hand, narcissists may try gaslighting or manipulating throughout the proceedings. Effective protection of your rights and interests can be achieved by maintaining a realistic perspective and depending on verifiable facts. Recall that the best way to protect oneself in these kinds of circumstances is to uphold your integrity and pursue justice via the appropriate legal channels.

21 . Finding Closure After Leaving a Relationship with a Narcissist

After ending a relationship with a narcissist, finding closure can be a difficult but necessary step on the road to recovery. It's critical to recognize that emotional scars from the relationship could still exist and that it's acceptable to look for support at this time. Letting yourself mourn the broken relationship and any betrayal you may have felt is one method to get emotional closure.

Taking part in self-care and self-love-promoting activities can aid in the healing process. Grounding oneself in the present now and releasing any residual doubts or fears can be facilitated by engaging in mindfulness, yoga, or meditation practices. Therapeutic methods for managing your emotions include engaging in creative pursuits like writing, painting, or listening to music.

A safe place to examine your feelings and learn more about how the relationship affected you might be found in therapy or counseling. It takes time to heal from psychological trauma, so you must be patient with yourself on this path. Rebuilding your feeling of trust and self-worth can also be facilitated by surrounding oneself with understanding and supporting friends and family.

Recall that obtaining closure has nothing to do with getting approval or recognition from the narcissist; rather, it's about finding peace within yourself. You can progressively move on from the previous relationship and embrace a better future full of self-love and resilience by concentrating on your own development and well-being.👡

22 . Conclusion
 - Summarize key points about whether or not a narcis
sist can truly love

After putting everything above together, we can say that it is difficult to say whether a narcissist is capable of true love. Although narcissists may have some capacity for love, their tendency toward self-centeredness frequently prevents them from experiencing and expressing true empathy and compassion for others. They frequently exhibit control, manipulation, and a lack of emotional reciprocity in their relationships.

In order to deal with narcissistic traits, it is vital to consider healthy interpersonal dynamics. Early detection of narcissistic traits can safeguard your mental health and help you establish boundaries that encourage sincerity and respect in relationships. Recall that rather than being based on manipulation or power dynamics, love should be caring, supporting, and founded on respect and understanding for one another.

It's important to prioritize your own wellbeing, create boundaries, seek support from specialists or reliable people, and be self-aware when navigating relationships with narcissists. You can deal with difficult dynamics and preserve your emotional fortitude and sense of self-worth by realizing the limitations of a narcissist's capacity for love and concentrating on learning good relationship techniques.